DO YOU LIVE YOUR DASH?
I know of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone from the beginning…to the end. He noted that first was her date of birth and spoke the ending date with tears, and he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years of
1863 – 1961
That dash represents all the time that she spent living on earth…
Here’s just some of what her dash contained. She was raised on a plantation in West Virginia with one brother, Cash. From an early age, it was evident that she was an independent individual who wanted to think for herself and make her own decisions. Her family basically disowned her when she married a man quite a few years her senior who was divorced and had a family with his first wife. She moved with him to the Oklahoma Territory and during their marriage raised the 13 children (9 daughters and 4 sons) born unto them. She was truly a Pioneer Woman of the Oklahoma Territory. Only three of their 13 children were born after Oklahoma obtained statehood in 1907. She was the cook at the 101 Ranch owned by the Miller Brothers in Ponca City, Oklahoma and her husband worked as the ranch foreman. In 1920, he was killed in a farming accident when the mule team pulling the thrashing discs spooked. He was thrown under the wagon and run over by the discs. Their youngest child was 10 years old.
She loved the color red and orange pop, had a great sense of humor, baked some of the world’s best buttermilk biscuits and enjoyed life. Idalean was actually a woman way ahead of her time. The only color lingeree came in during those years was white. She was not satisfied with the norm so she used “Rit dye” to create matching bras, panties and slips that coordinated with whatever color dress she was wearing. This was years before Victoria’s Secret was a concept.
Further evidence of an being an independent woman is recorded by the fact that she fell in love and married once again. She and her husband raised her three children that were still at home. He was seventeen years her junior. This was certainly not the acceptable social norm of the 1920’s. Otto cherished Idalean and treated her like a queen. All of her children liked, loved and respected him because he was so good to their mother.
Her hat and gloves were always on the hall table where a mirror hung above it. Anytime someone said “Go” she was ready. If one of her daughters came by for coffee and a visit on her way to the grocery store, she was up in front of that hall table placing her hat upon her head, gloving her hands, grabbing her purse and out the door faster than you could imagine. If there was any chance of going, she did not necessarily wait for an invitation if there was room in the car for her.
Each summer in June, on the second Sunday and the week prior to Father’s Day, there was a family reunion held at one of her daughter’s cabin. She was there for every one of those reunions except the last one.
The girls would cook and sing while the guys would sit on the screened porch playing cards and sippin’ bourbon.
When prohibition was finally repealed in 1959 in Oklahoma, she was curious to go inside a liquor store to see what one looked like. She purchased a small bottle of Mogen-David wine, being a lady who prided herself on not seeming nosey. Up to that point she had not done any drinking, but she was not going to waste it! Her doctor told one of her sons that that little glass of wine she drank each evening quite possibly prolonged the time she spent on earth.
They could only guess at the beginning number before her dash since she refused to tell anyone her true age. One of her sons needed this information in order to apply for his social security card and had great difficulty obtaining one because in the affidavit they took from her, she claimed to be born the year her oldest daughter was actually born.
She spent five years of her later life blind due to cataracts. The doctor who performed the surgery to remove her cataracts remarked to her son following the surgery on how well she had tolerated this surgery for a woman 65 years of age. The doctor was a bit stunned when her son corrected him on her age. Not 65, Mom is 85 at least! Turning very pale, the doctor said she lied to him about her age and he would have never considered doing that surgery on anyone 85 years of age!
What a lively character she was and what a lot of living is represented by her one simple dash. There is so much more to the story of the time she spent here on earth. I am blessed to know so much about such a lovely woman because she was my grandmother.
What does your dash contain? It’s all the years and experiences and relationships that you will have had here on Earth. Think about it: What will your dash represent for you? Will it contain plenty of laughter, inspiration, gratitude, happiness, transformation? Did you let your dash just happen, or did you take your time here on earth to direct it in such a way to make it count for more than a mere mark between the beginning year and the ending year that will appear? How many random acts of kindness, smiles, loving thoughts, hugs, and kisses are held in that dash? Who are the people that have blessed your dash? How will you design the rest of the time you spend living your dash?
So the story continues. . .
And now only those who loved her know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own; the cars…the house…the cash,
What matters is how we live and love, and how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard…Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,that can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough to consider what’s true and real,
And always try to understand the way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger,and show appreciation more,
And love the people in our lives like we’ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect, and more often wear a smile..
Remembering that this special dash might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy’s being read, with your life’s actions to rehash…
Would you be proud of the things they say about how you spent your dash?
~Author Unknown
